On Life's Choices

For years and years I have been awash on a sea of indecision. I have been bandied about like a boat on the ocean never knowing which direction I was actually going to take. There have been many things which I have done and tried to be but they always seem to fall short of what I really am and want to be. I have tried aggressiveness. I have tried space science and technology. I have tried various religions. There are times when I have tried to exemplify the macho lifestyle. There have been times when I have decided to let fate decide my destiny by always waiting for others to show me what I needed to do or what I needed to be. I have tried to be way too many things and none of them are what I truly am, or what I truly wish to be.

Still.

In every aspect I have been fascinated with one thing. Philosophy. No matter what I am focused on it is philosophy that underlies it. From the Vulcan philosophy in Star Trek to humanism to Zen to atheism I have always been concerned on some level with the philosophy. It has caused me problems. For example, when I was at Northeast State I was so caught up in having access to a college library that I had a hard time concentrating on my real classes. I passed them but never gave them the attention that I should have.

So.

I have decided to embrace philosophy as my life's goal. I am going to embed myself into the consideration of the universe, the mind and truth. I am going to go to school again in the fall of 2011 with the goal of attaining the major of a Master's in Philosophy with a minor in Psychology. No more wasting of my time with the things I am not passionate about. In embracing one of my deepest desires I will be able to achieve something really significant to me.

Hopefully, as I embrace truth in my career I will be able to embrace truth in everything else.